Why 'Normal People' Broke My Heart Open

Warning! Spoilers expected! 
Trigger warnings explored in the show are as follows: suicide, mental health such as depression and anxiety, abuse. 

As the credits blinked on screen, my best friend and I longed to see the pop-up 'next episode' button and yet after twelve episodes the life we had been sharing and binging came to an end. I was left heart broken, but not in the way I expected. Instead, my heart felt it had been broken open and memories unlocked, bare and vulnerably sitting on the surface for me to see. It is clear this series had a great relationship with author Sally Rooney as the characters explore a perfect and enticing depth that one would assume only possible through a novel. The popularity of this book and the boredom experienced in a global lockdown, it's no wonder I was unable to grab a copy before the release of the series on BBC Three and Hulu. Nonetheless, I will be purchasing as soon as it arrives in stock! This co-production had the budget to facilitate gorgeous locations such as Northern Italy and sultry Sweden. However the delicacy of the small Irish hometown anticipated a nostalgia set deep within small town people across the United Kingdom. One of them being myself!

The Exploration of Sex 

Most interviews with Paul Mescal (Connell) and Daisy Edgar-Jones (Marianne) reveal they worked closely with an intimate scenes choreographer who certainly managed to create steamy moments, unbelievable to viewers as staged!

It came as a surprise to myself that I felt tears fall down my cheeks when I watched Connell and Marianne sleep together for the first time. Passion is so often portrayed as a desire so powerful and unrealistic in teen sex scenes, and sometimes even violent. This is an exhausting trope to most romantic television series and can harm notions of realistic sexual encounters. I feel, unfortunately, for many women like myself that the depiction of sex can be fanciful with pillow feathers or uncomfortable and overbearing masculinity perceptions. It is important I feel for novels and creative works to pay tribute to healthy sex scenes and to allow younger audiences to witness boundaries and communication in romantic relations. Normal People does not shy away from the necessary conversations in sexual moments and the importance of healthy sex. The comforting nature of Connell who is gentle and considerate was almost too much to bear, and a relief I did not expect to upset me so much.

Pools of Masculine Depression 


I, personally, haven't seen such a sensitive and subtle representation of male mental health such as depression and anxiety than I have in Normal People. Although mental health is highlighted in many television shows more than ever, I find there is still a lack of representation in men and one that is often stereotyped when discussed. Normal People steers clear from outbursts, slamming, cursing, punching and destructive behaviour in Connell. Instead, an isolated and intimate wave of depression ebbs with the character over time and intensifies after the suicide of a school friend. As a viewer, we feel as if we're intruding on moments of collapse and pain. We join Connell halfway through a discussion about getting help through his university, and applause the helpful suggestion from his flatmate.

The isolation encountered by the overwhelming experience of setting up home is relatable, and one that is perfectly captured through cinematography and Mescal's performance. The depth of the weight depression can carry is carefully depicted, whether through the raw breakdown in a counselling session or the reliance of someone close while sleeping. Either way, our hearts break for Connell with the silent reminder that mental health issues can affect anyone for any reasons, and are not a sign of weakness; but rather the sign of great strength.

Two themes present through Connell's story are progression and prevention. The progression of Connell's depression and vulnerability is very much complicated as he becomes more independent. The sheltered and toxic comfortability in his school friendship circle no longer distracts, and instead leaves an underprepared student struggling to keep afloat. Confidence weakened, Connell struggles to navigate university lifestyle and as a viewer we cheer at the small accomplishments. The academic thoughts shared at a seminar, or the beer shared with his flatmate's friends. It is these moments that prevent Connell from further spiralling and encourage him to find support.

It is perhaps this prevention that hits home for his character upon the news of his school friend committing suicide. Survivor's guilt if you will, one that is so often neglected when treating suicide in television shows. Sombre and stripped back, the boys meet again around a pub table. It is a short sight for viewers, but one that symbolises a global issue. In the UK, men are three times more likely to die by suicide than women (Source: Samaritans). If you are in need of support please visit the Samaritans website, or call 116 123. Another great resource is CALM which helps to prevent male suicide.

Tangled Love 

Life can be messy, people are complex and confusing. Normal People does not de-tangle these moments, or comb the knot of Marianne and her personality. Instead she represents the effects of unhealthy boundaries, toxic masculinity in her abusive brother and a deep neglect felt in her absent mother. Marianne, however, is not whittled down to a victim despite her tragedies and it is here the feminist narration within the television show shines bright. Viewers are encouraged to fall in love with Marianne's likabilities, her enticing humour and strength against her tormentors. However, when the growing darkness in Marianne comes to the surface and presents itself in the whirlwind nature of her love interests, we do not blame her. We do not critique her for the reasons she ventures to a pernicious romance, instead we witness a hatred for herself.

An issue as heavy as abuse should be treated with a delicate caution, one that isn't rushed. This series portrays the tangled complications and effects of abuse over time and the ignored side effects it can have on all aspects on a survivor's life. When Marianne walks away from a harmful relationship, we watch her walk over the frozen sea in Sweden, we sense a new kindness for herself. Her surroundings may be cold, but her nature never as warm as before.
If you are experiencing an abusive environment or partner and need to talk to someone, please visit Women's Aid, or Refuge. For Men, or LGBT+ support call Mankind on 0182 3334 244 or Galop on 0800 999 5428.


Through the Memory Lens

This television series splits directing responsibility with Lenny Abrahamson for the first six episodes and Hettie Macdonald for the concluding six. Despite the directors collaborating on this television series and some subtle differences in their styles, one thing consistent in the adaptation would be the use of a wistful lens. The camerawork comes close to a voyeuristic style, but instead appeals to the eye of memory. This style is very much appropriate for a series which stretches over a long period of time, and one that has been adapted from a novel. Instead of presenting a present day in present time, viewers feel transcended into the character's memories. One of my most favourite scenes in the show is (aptly named) the ice lolly scene.

The camera focuses on the small moments of texture, the ice lolly placed onto the plastic wrapper, or Marianne's feet stretching out on the covers. You can feel the temperature in the room, taste the ice lolly, the covers against your own skin. Though not your own personal memory, it unlocks universal experiences settled in our own minds. Cleverly the series avoids the narration a novel may need, a voice-over that could distract. It uses this technique to find comfort in the silent recognition of a time passed, and the surprising details remembered when reminiscing.

All in all, Normal People is a visually-pleasing, explorative and delicate series. One which is not afraid in taking its time, nurturing viewers in its characters and forcing an ache in their romantic connections. The conclusion open-ended, left like the final words hanging in the space between Marianne and Connell, and one that broke hearts across the country. A sweet and careful break, however, one that can be forgiven.